Anesthesia vs. Orthopod

Snow Day!

I'm speechless. Hillarious!

"Do You Watch TV Late At Night?"

My favorite anesthesia story as of yet...

Several months ago I did a light sedation case for an older gentleman that was having a dialysis catheter placed - his name was Leroy. He slept beautifully through the case (if I must say so myself) and when the time came to wake him up, I gently tapped him on the shoulder...

Me: "Leroy, we're all done - can you open your eyes for me?"

He immediately opens his eyes and says, "Do you ever watch TV at night?"

Me: "Of coarse I do, why?"

Leroy: "I mean - do you ever watch those info-mericals late at night?"

Me: "Um, maybe...why"

Leroy: "You ever seen the one about that cream you put on your pecker to make it bigger?"

Me: "Don't think I've seen that one. Here's some oxygen - take some deep breaths."

Leroy: "Well take it from me - it don't work."

Me: "Leroy, quit talking - just breathe."

Leroy: "I'm just sayin - don't let yo' man get it - it don't work."

Me: "Good to know. Now quit talking."

Me vs. The Chinese Parking Attendant

This blog is dedicated to Sarah Elizabeth...because I am pretty sure that she is the only one that ever looks at my blog. Thank you for caring.

So, last night I went to meet a friend for dinner before heading to work. Meredith Cain and I went to high school together...way back in the day. She moved to Arlington in January and is working at an art gallery in DC. We, unfortunately, have played phone tag and had completely opposite schedules for the past 3 months, so we have had a really hard time catching up with each other. But...we finally worked it out and I headed to Pentagon City to meet Meredith for some noodles at the Noodle Co. (Note: Pentagon City is beautiful mall! Outside the mall there is precious little courtyard with all kinds of fun little restaurants, an Elizabeth Arden, Starbucks, and a Bally's where we have been working-out. In the middle of the courtyard is an ice skating rink--a really fun place to go sit and people watch)

Anyway...I get to the Noodle Co. and Meredith and I go to the counter to order. I tell the lady what I want...she tells me how much...I look into my purse...no wallet. Embarrasing moment number 1: I haven't seen Meredith in several years- I call her to meet me for dinner then I have to ask her to pay for mine. I friek out for just a minute because I know that my wallet has been in my purse all day long...but I will worry about it later. Meredith was extremely kind and bought my dinner without accusing me once of doing it on purpose. So we eat and have a wonderful time catching up. As we are sitting there it occurs to me: I'm going to have to pay to get out of the garage and I do not want to ask Meredith for more money. My plan: go to Bally's and stamp my parking ticket...you can get an hour-and-a-half for free when you are at the gym. Embarassing moment number 2: Meredith and I could have sat there talking forever, but I had to tell her I needed to go so that I would not go over my hour-and-a-half parking validation. I'm cutting it close. I run to Bally's. Embarassing moment number 3: I stamp my card and get a lot of funny because I am obvously not there to work out and obviously cheating the system. But...what choice do I have here?? I run to my car. High tail it to the gate. Hand my parking ticket to the chinese lady.

She: You pay 50 cent.
Me: How much? Did you see the validation stamp?
She: Yes. Yes, but you 2 minutes too long. You pay 50 cent.
Note: I have run into this same 5-10 minutes too long issue several times working out and the attendents always let it slide.
Me (Embarassing moment number 4): Mam, I don't have my wallet and have absolutely no money. Is there any way you can let my extra 2 minutes go?
She: 50 cent.
Me: Mam, I am really sorry, but I don't have any money. I thought I was under my hour-and-a-half.
She: You go to ATM with card and give me money.
Me: I don't have my wallet, mam. I have no money with me. I was only over two minutes. Can we work something out?
She: You give me credit card.
Me: I don't have my wallet and, therefore, don't have my credit card.
Embarassing moment number 5: There is now a line of cars behind me waiting to get out of the parking garage.
She: What I supposed to do? Let you go without paying? You have friend to bring you money?
Me: Well...yes, but it would take someone a while to get here and there are now a lot of cars behind me, so I can't really back up. Can I get out and bring you 50 cent (no 's') in just a few minutes?
She: I know you. I let you go and you never come back. I know you American.
Me: I promise you I will come back. I really don't have any other options here.
She (speaking chinese very loudly): slkhoiivasdvnaewgo9zghwgnigdswkjdoginmweglgkjg!!!!!
Me: Ok...I promise I will come back.

As all of the cars behind me are honking, she opens the gate. Still yelling what I can only assume to be Chinese profanities at me.

That is just a summary. In all...about a 5 minutes discussion, a lot of which was in chinese. My dilema: To pay. Or not to pay.

She was very rude and just assumed that because I am an American I would not come back. But I did promise. But more importantly, I had a "I'll show her" attitude happening. She must have been using some kind of Chinese reverse psychology, beause I drive 15 minutes back to my apartment- the opposite way that I should be going to get to work- to get the mean chinese lady "50 cent".

She: Oh, you came back. I not think you do it. You keep money.

And then I was late for work.

Hhas Kenny Called Yet?

My most memorable weekend in Charlotte was by far the weekend that Big Al and Sarah Biz came to visit. A few highlights? We kicked off the weekend with lettuce wraps and chocolate cake at P.F. Changs (one of my new favorites). Saturday morning it was off to Southpark for some shopping and the Cheesecake Factory for lunch (and no, we did not share 1 piece of cheesecake...we shared four pieces of cheesecake). And Saturday night....well, let's just say that it is when it got interesting.

We were in the mood for some football and fried pickels so we headed to a local bar called Alexander Michael's (interesting, I know, but what do you expect from 4 southern girls raised on SEC football and fried food? And we actually had to ask the bar tender to find a game for us to watch!). So there is this waiter...he's gorgeous. Not just good looking, gorgeous. We accidently listened in on the conversation he was having with the table of old ladies beside us: His name is Kenny and he is new in town. Perfect-I'm new in town too! For about the next hour, we worked it...and he loved it! And finally...the moment of truth, I am going to stop him to ask him for some ketchup. Here he comes. He's slowing down, he's smiling, we're working it. Wait a minute...he's stopping and I haven't even said anything. What is he doing? Oh my gosh, he's stopping. He's putting his arm around my shoulder and he's pulling me close. He's handing me something...a pack of sugar?? "Excuse me," he very seductively whispers in my ear, "I think you dropped your name tag". Oh my gosh!! Hysterical! I got set up while I was in the bathroom! Absolutely hillarious. Oh well, can I keep him? Oops...I accidently wrote my number on the pack of sugar that Katie just handed him. Hillarious!!!

And then we were off to the Corn Maze. Yes, you heard me...a maze cut through a corn field. Warning: the effects of this maze are greatly intensified with high heels and 3 ultras on board upon entering. Has Kenny called yet?

And no girls weekend is complete without a day at the spa. We finished our weekend off with a roadtrip to Asheville and a night at the Grove Park Inn. Absolutely amazing! I just wish Kenny could have been my masseuse ; ) Thanks for an incredible weekend, girls! I love you !!